July 8, 2007

If You Give a Corpse a Cookie...

If you give a corpse a cookie...

... it'll probably want the recipe; so...

... it'll need to come into the house; so...

... you'll need to drag it into the house; because...

... it's a corpse, and, therefore, it can't walk; so...

... you'll have to try to pick it up, which...

... depending on the extent and nature of its decomposition is going to be, at least...

... really friggin' disgusting; so...

... you'll need to buy and use a full-body biohazard suit with...

... a self-contained undertaker breathing apparatus; so...

... you don't have to smell the rotting flesh, and...

... you'll have to wear this the whole time which...

... will likely be very hot and uncomfortable, but...

... necessary and prudent when handling the decaying remains of a cookie-eating corpse; so...

... you'll realize quickly how heavy the corpse is, and...

... how hot and uncomfortable the biohazard suit is; so...

... you'll have to figure out a different way to move it into your house to get the recipe; so...

... you'll attempt to reanimate the corpse with, ummm, with what...

... exactly? Yes! Brains! Of course, why didn't you think of that...

... sooner? Ohh, yeah, because you already gave the corpse a cookie...

... a brain cookie, but, since you couldn't find any brains for the recipe...

... you had to use your own which, of course...

... killed you instantly, but...

... you managed to make the cookies and...

... give them to your corpsey friend...

... that's why you were in the presence of another corpse to begin with; because...

... you are dead and sharing cookies made from eggs, sugar, chocolate chips and brains...

... and the other corpse liked them, and...

... it wanted the recipe; so...

... it could make them for itself, and...

... you promised to get it the recipe and...

... help it to make a fresh batch of brain cookies...

... for more corpses to be reanimated, but...

... that means you'll need more brains; so...

... it's time to...

... BAKE!

(zombishly-evil screeching, moaning and laughing)


[END]

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