It's well-known among pro-life advocates that the reason pro-choicers fight for abortion rights has nothing to do with a woman's right to decide what to do with her own body. That's just a paper tiger. No, they fight for reproductive rights because, quite simply, abortion is totally fucking awesome!
Pro-lifers know this; they have been in denial for years about all the kick-ass aspects of abortion, fearful that, if too many people start having abortions, the country would turn into Dead Fetus Disneyland, and pro-lifers hate Disneyland because Disney is nice to homosexuals.
[On a side note, if too many French people started having abortions, than that whole area would turn into Dead Fetus EuroDisneyland, which would actually lead to fewer abortions.]
Why is abortion so awesome? Read here and find out!
1. It frees up valuable womb space that can then be used to smuggle narcotic-filled balloons across international lines.
2. There are never, ever any long-term emotional consequences for anyone involved. Ever.
3. Pay for ten, get your eleventh free.
4. Finally gives doctors something to do.
5. Allows men and women to be the non-stop sex machines that James Brown prophesied.
6. Women, at last, have something to talk about with other women.
7. Keeps the protest sign industry afloat.
8. Helps suppress the serial killing urges most obstetrical surgeons obviously feel.
9. One more person that never has to go to a Renaissance festival.
10. Allows arch-conservative fundamentalists to demonstrate exactly how much they hate the sinner but love the result of the sin.
11. For the fetus, it's like getting out of jail early.
12. Helps art school students with their anguished poetry.