A Play A Day #83

No Peeking


Cast:
Man
Voice

Setting: A beach. A curtain facing the audience upstage left.


(Man enters downstage right, he's slowly strolling, notices the curtain, walks over, grabs it and starts to look behind it.)

Voice: (defening, over speaker system) NO PEEKING!!!

(Man collapses from surprise, fear and clutches his ears at the volume, he leaves the stage while hunched over and scared, looking around for the source of the voice.)

(Lights down, lights up)

(Man onstage again, down right, looking around surreptitiously, slowly step toward th curtain again, as soon as he touches it)

Voice: (same volume as before) NO PEEKING!!!

(Man was more prepared for the possibility this time, but still crouches and reels as he heads offstage)

(lights down, lights up)

(Same scenario, he's very slow about moving this time. Same result)

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

(Man dallies for a little bit, covers hi ears, but doesn't move far away from the curtain, slowly starts leaning back to see behind it without touching it)

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

(Man looks around gain, gets braver, adresses the air)

Man: Who are you!!?

Voice: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

Man: I just want to know!

Voice: I AM THE VOICE THAT TELLS YOU NOT TO PEEK!

Man: O.K! O.K.! Could you please not speak in all caps?!

Voice: I DON"T UNDERSTAND!

Man: Stop shouting!

Voice: THAT IS MY NATURAL VOICE!

Man: Alright, but could you dial it a bck just a couple notches?

Voice: YES! YE... yes, yes, I can!

Man: Thanks. Alright, see ya.

(lights down, lights up)

(same scenario, excpet man runs onstage toward curtain)

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

Man: (turning quickly toward the voice) Why should I listen to you?!

Voice: Because I'm authoritative!

Man: Why else?

Voice: Becasue you are not supposed to peek!

Man: Why not?

Voice: Please trust me; it's for your own good.

Man: Really?

Voice: Yes, I can assure you.

Man: Alright, voice, I'll believe you.

Voice: You will? Thanks!

Man: See ya 'round.

(lights down, lights up)

(Man comes on stage, he pays no attention to the curtain. Stands around, waves to unseen friends, etc... long pause, eventually he starts to leave)

Voice: Excuse me...

Man: Oh, hi, I thought you might be there, but I didn't hear you.

Voice: You didn't try to peek.

Man: Well, no, I'm not going to try that anymore, remember?

Voice: Yes, (contritely) I remember...

Man: Keeping up my end of the deal.

Voice: Right, it's just that... well, I'm not supposed to talk to anyone unless they try peeking.

Man: Sure, makes sense.

Voice: And I like talking to you...

Man: Well, I'm true to my word, voice. So you don't have to worry about me any more. See ya!

Voice: (calling after him) No... wait... I... (pause, then a sigh from the voice)

(lights down, lights up)

(Man enters, just killing time, sits down maybe, does whatever for quite a while, finally)

Voice: Hi... I'm here.

Man: Thought you were.

Voice: Can you just do me a favor and try to peek behind the curtain?

Man: Seriously?

Voice: Yeah, for old times sake.

Man: Why?

Voice: Well, it's kind of my job, and if no on is peeking behind the curtain, I have nothing to do.

Man: So you encourage people to break the rule just so you can have some work?

Voice: Well, not everyone...

Man: Just me?

Voice: (quietly) Yes...

Man: But you told me to trust you; now you're sort of breaking your own convictions here, aren't you?

Voice: Sometimes rules have to be broken.

Man: So you can have a job?

Voice: There may be a higher purpose involved.

Man: Like what?

Voice: I don't want to say. Please, could you, just this once?

Man: Alright, but I get to yell back at you!

Voice: That sounds fair.

(Man reaches curtain, begins to pull it back.)

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

Man: (playfully turning toward audience and shouting into air) NO SHOUTING!!! (he turns back to the curtain, touches it)

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

Man: (same as before, with laughter) NO SHOUTING!!! (turns back to curtain)

(gets faster and faster, with overlap)

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

Man: NO SHOUTING!!!

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

Man: NO SHOUTING!!!

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

Man: NO SHOUTING!!!

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

Man: NO SHOUTING!!!

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

Man: NO SHOUTING!!!

Voice: I LOVE YOU!!!

Man: NO SHOut... ing? What?

Voice: I can't repeat it.

Man: That's o.k., I heard what you said.

Voice: I'm sorry; I meant 'no peeking'.

Man: No, no one crosses up 'no peeking' and 'I love you'.

Voice: I... I... just had to.... say it.

Man: I don't even know you.

Voice: Yes... I ... know...

Man: Are you even real?

Voice: Yes.

Man: I mean, do you even exist?

Voice: Yes.. I do.

Man: Where are you? In the air?!

Voice: Why don't you check behind the curtain?

(lights fade, as he slowly looks behind the curtain, his eyes grow wide, big smile back to the audience, he steps behind the curtain, lights out)

(end)


*******ALTERNATE ENDING*******

(lights fade, he reaches for the curtain, as soon as he touches it)

Voice: NO PEEKING!!!

(Man reels around, surprised and angry)

Voice: Got ya!!

(Man hangs his head and exits)

Voice: Oh, c'mon, come back! C'mon! I'll be nice! Hey! Don't be mad!

(lights out)

(end)