Q v. K
Setting: Blank Stage. King stays in same place throughout play. Queen moves from one spot to some other spot whenever she's talking.
King: Because I'm the king, that's why.
Queen: You are a puppet. I'm in charge.
K: Explain that to my advisors, please.
Q: Your advisors are cowards before me.
K: Not while I'm around.
K: Your threats are so commonplace as to be meaningless.
Q: My threats come from my great power.
K: I am well protected.
Q: For now.
K: I have strategic defenses against your kind of moves.
Q: My moves are constrained by no defense.
K: Your moves are constrained by your utter predictablity.
Q: I go where I want, when I want.
K: And you do so in such a conspicuous manner, like screaming while you tip-toe.
Q: I can crush you with one tip of one toe.
K: Do so and watch the kingdom fall.
Q: I will build it again.
K: With whose help?
Q: It will be in my image.
K: You know, if you don't have me to fight, your purpose will disappear.
Q: The new kingdom will become my purpose.
K: I'm a popular king. Your head will roll.
Q: That's the chance all the great ones must take.
K: You know this is so useless.
Q: Yes, that's due to your presence in this battle.
K: No, I mean, your moves have no effect on me.
Q: Ha! Yet you protest against them so vehemently.
K: Because I'm your husband!
K: And, I'm on your team, you frothing nutjob!
K: Why aren't you attacking the white king like you're supposed to?
K: He's been sitting there defenseless while you persist in making false thrusts against me!
K: So?! So?! Take him out, we'll rule two kingdoms together!
Q: (Looking over her shoulder, pause) What's he ever done to me?
K: That's not the point!
Q: It's exactly the point! I've put up with your garbage for five years! You get all the credit for this great kingdom, and I do all the grunt work.
K: I give you plenty of credit!
Q: I don't want it from you. I want it from everyone. I get you out of the picture; I rule by myself. It's all mine!
K: You're sick.
Q: Exquisitely so.
K: The people will never get behind you.
Q: They'll have to; as soon as you're gone, I go to war with the white king. They will always supoort their queen at war.
K: You'll never win!
Q: I don't have to, just scare him enough, then bargain a truce under the condition that he marry me.
K: He won't allow it.
Q: He will. He'll get ruling share of two kingdoms in exchange for my hand. Peace will reign, the people will be behind me.
K: And you'll be second fiddle again.
Q: Until the old white king dies unexpectedly one day. So sad.
K: You are a dangerous hag.
Q: (advancing directly on king from behind) Well, at least you're seeing my good side.
K: You can't do that; that was an illegal move!
Q: I'm making the rules now.
K: Stay away, witch!!
Q: Nightie night, my dearly departed.
(King looks ahead in horror, Queen draws a dagger, lights out)