Men- #1 through #13
Setting: Porch swing, on a porch, where porch swings often are, therefore the porch could be implied. Lena sits next to a man; she is dressed chastely, in a sensible hat, and other clothes too. Whatever you think passes for chaste; go for it. It is night.
Man1: Oh, Lena, I truly love you.
(Sequence: lights down immediately, man leaves stage, Lena puts on a different hat, slightly larger and more ostentatious than the previous hat, new man enters and sits, lights up)
Man2: Oh, Lena, Lena... I love you madly!
Man3: Lena, my dearest, dearest Lena; I do love you so.
Man3: So. "Much" is understood in that sentence, like "I love you so much", you see and...
Man4: Lena, you cannot possibly know how much I love you!
Lena: How much?
Man4: Ummmm.... much... An unknowable quantity, actually, there's really not...
Man5: I deeply love you, Lena!
Man5: Very, very dee...
Man6: Lena, you are my one true love!
Man6: And only...
Man6: Yes... true.
Man7: My love for you knows no bounds, Lena!
Man7: Not a one!
Man8: Je t'aime beaucoup, Lena!
Man8: Je t'aime beaucoup!
Man9: You fill me to overflowing with love, Lena!
Man9: Past the top, you know, as if I were...
Man10: Lena, I need you, love you with such... gusto....
Lena: (long, loud laugh) Gusto? (still giggling)
Man11: Lena, say you will always love me as intensely as I love you at this moment!
Man11: Burning with intensity!
Man12: Lena, my love for you is a strong as a mountain range, as fresh as a mountain stream, as beautiful as a mountain valley.
Man12: They are very romantic.
Man13: Well, see ya around, maybe. (starts leaving)
Lena: Uhhh... wait...
Man13: Yeah? What?
Lena: Don't you love me?
Lena: I said, don't...
Man13: Yeah, I heard ya... Listen, we just had a date; why should I love you?
Lena: I... I... I guees... I guess I don't know.
Man13: Alright, I'm heading out.
Lena: No! Don't go! ... Please!
Man13: Why not?
(these lines overlap)
Lena: Can you just tell me that you love me?
Man13: No! Listen...
Lena: Like really love me?
Lena: Uhhh... madly?
Man13: Listen, Lena, I just had a little food with you and...
Man13: No! and we saw a good show...
Lena: Like a mountain?
Man13: ... but, No!, it doesn't mean anything...
Lena: Are you overflowing?
Man13: Wha... ? No! I'm not...
Lena: Boundless, overflowing love?
Man13: Overflowing with anything...
Lena: Do I define your very existence because of the love you feel for me?
Man13: No! My existence was around and defined before you and...
Lena: Love for me brought it into focus?
Man13: ...it'll be defined after... no focus...
Lena: So, you don't love me?
(lines stop overlapping now)
Man13: (big sigh) Lena, you're just fine, but I'm not going to be begged into saying that.... (pause) Alright, you're o.k. Is that enough? That's all you're getting out of me. O.K.? I ike you just fine?
Lena: (seductively) Sit down beside me.
Man13: (reluctantly) Alright, but I really gotta get going...
Lena: Can I... kiss you?
Man13: (long pause, looking at her strangely, assessing all that was just said) Alright, I suppose... but can you take off that ridiculous hat first?
Lena: (doing so) Yes... now I can.
(Lena leans in, passionate kiss starts, lights fade out slowly)