July 21, 2006

A Play A Day #99

A Real Kiss

Isla (18-25)
Kit (same)

Setting: A bench, could be anywhere.

(Lights up. Isla and Kit are kissing in the most awkward fashion imaginable: lips protruding horribly but barely touching each other, heads either dead still, or moving about with no sense of grace, arms stiff and straight down at their sides, this goes on for over a minute. They break off. Both look exhausted as if they've just had sex, breathing heavily.)

Isla: Wow!

Kit: Wow!

I: Yeah! That... was amazing!

K: Totally aces!

I: That was... A Real Kiss!

K: Double that! It was A RRRREEEAALLL KISS!

I: Yeah!

K: Time?

I: (looking at watch) Forty-nine days, fifteen hours, thirty-eight minutes and twelve seconds.

K: Awesome! That's almost three minutes longer than last time!

I: And over eight minutes longer than the time before that!

K: We're getting so much better at this!

I: How's the petition coming?

K: Seven signatures now!

I: Oh, they'd better let us into the Olympics this time...

K: Endurance Stage Kissing is the sport of the future!

I: Of course! More popular every year.

K: I think we have a good shot at Nationals this year!

I: No doubt, my neck hardly even goes numb anymore.

K: Mine either!

I: Well, I'd better get home. I have a date with Jerry tonight.

K: Yeah, he's probably missed you the last seven weeks.

I: What are you up to?

K: Well, I'd better call Tyler. He's probably horny as hell since we haven't been together for seven weeks either.

I: We're both so lucky to have such understanding boyfriends.

K: Tell me about it, but you know it is only stage kissing.

I: Yes. Well, I'll see you next Wednesday to start another practice session.

K: Good-bye for now, Isla.

(They approach and kiss, this is an intense, groping, steamy, open-mouthed with tongue, definitely-not-a-stage-kiss kiss. It lasts at least ninety seconds. They break apart with weak smiles.)

K: (disappointment) Ahh, it's just never the same as stage kissing, is it?

I: No, it's not. Bye, Kit!

(They exit in opposite directions, lights out)


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ok- you made me laugh out loud. Very funny.