December 12, 2007

How to Paint a House

Step 1. Find a house.

Step 2. Subdue house to prevent it from suddenly moving about.

Step 3. Affix paint sprayer attachment to most any baby.

Step 4. Fill baby with paint.

Step 5. Squeeze baby hard for maximum uniformity of coverage.

Step 6. In corners and along seams, tickle baby for more precise application.

Step 7. Let paint dry.

Step 8. Apply second coat.

Step 9. Rinse baby.

(NB: Again, do not use lead-based paint, as it may cause the baby undue harm. Some babies, however, may also be allergic to latex-based paints. Please ask baby before filling.)

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