Step 1. Buy firecracker.
Step 2. Buy cute baby.
Step 3. Distract cancer by exploding the firecracker.
Step 4. Throw baby at cancer.
Step 5. Instruct baby to destroy cancer.
Step 6. Return baby. Full refund if within thirty days.
Step 7. Break for lunch.
(NB: Do not attempt to return firecracker. Does not work on all cancers, just the distractable ones.)
These remind me of an old joke I just made up. How do you disarm a drowning man who has cancer? Throw a baby at him. Classic.
Not to be confused with: How do you stop a clown from smiling? Cut off his face with a rusty saw. It's not only funny, it's good advice.
You can also stop a clown from smiling by throwing a rusty baby at him.
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