How to Be Evil

Step 1. Find a baby.

Step 2. Teach that baby to be the most popular baby around.

Step 3. Staple this popular baby to your face.

Step 4. Attend many parties.

Step 5. Frequently point out that you have a popular baby stapled to your face.

Step 6. Make friends with all the right people.

Step 7. Influence people.

Step 8. Then tell people what you really think about them.


(NB: Bonus evil points if you remind people that god is a figment of their imagination designed by humans to control each other with the promise of a lollipop if you're good. People hate being reminded about that.)