1. BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT, PEOPLE!
2. BEING OF DIFFERENT HEIGHTS, LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE, BY NATURE, HORRIBLY SIZE-IST, AND SHOULD BE SHUNNED.
3. EVERYONE WITH WHOM YOU COMMUNICATE WILL RESPECT YOUR WORDS WHEN LARGER, BECAUSE MORE IS BETTER.
4. TO COMPENSATE FOR UNDERSIZED GENITALIA (MALES ONLY).
5. TO CONVINCE YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND THAT YOU ARE NOT STALKING HER, BUT ARE TRYING ONLY TO SHOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER!
6. TO SHORE UP THE STABILITY OF YOUR ARGUMENT'S LOGIC.
7. IT REMINDS EVERYONE THAT YOU EXIST.
8. LARGER LETTERS ARE LESS LIKELY TO GET LOST IN TRANSMISSION BECAUSE THEY ARE EASIER FOR THE INTERNET TO SEE.
9. BECAUSE YOU ARE RIGHT, AND EVERYONE ELSE IS A FUCKHEAD.
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