It has come to my handsome attention that I am amassing a political power base in Facebrook.
Facebrook is a small town of which few people have ever heard. In the land of Facebrook, children run free, animals are well-behaved yet wild, food is plentiful, parents are happy and filled with love, the populace wants for nothing and stands for something.
I can change that.
After winning the Northfield mayoral race, which I'm certain is certainly a certainty at this point, we and the members of my Facebrook power team will march on Facebrook and expand Northfield's reach into bucolic communities! Not many will probably die.
Join us, won't you? Yes, you will.
After joining, let us know what ways you anticipate being bettered by standing in my reflected beauty and glory!
Leave your thoughts on campaign strategies!
Post videos of your campaign theme songs!
Share stories from the campaign trail!
Eat and drink to excess! (food and beverages not included)
Have sex, maybe with someone!
Do whatever you need to do to help us win the Northfield mayoral race!
Because when I win, you win! (your win not included)