February 6, 2008

Aside from Cooked Pasta, Here Are Some Other Things I Threw Against the Wall To See If They Would Stick, And What Each Signifies.

1. Alarm Clock: If it sticks, then it's time to get up.

2. Pregnant Woman: Sticking means the baby is done cooking. (Make sure pregnant woman sticks with exit ramp facing downward.)

3. Tennis Ball: If it sticks, do not play tennis with this ball, or get a less sticky wall.

4. Ideas: If they stick, rub head against the wall until ideas re-enter your brain. Do not lick them off the wall lest you swallow all your good ideas.

5. Magnet: If it sticks, check to see if the wall is actually an enormous refrigerator.

6. Clean Laundry: If it sticks, you don't have to put your clothes away.

7. Clown Mime: If it sticks, remove. Clean off wall-mounted spears. Repeat.

8. Garbage Can filled with Liquid Nitroglycerin: If it sticks, walk away. Slowly.

9. Eggs: If they stick... mmmm... wall eggs.

10. Door: If it sticks, exit.

11. Love: If it sticks, could this be the wall you've been waiting for?! The wall for you... after all these years? C'mon... buy it some flowers or something!


cdeline said...

"Love: If it sticks, could this be the wall you've been waiting for"

I knew I was doing something wrong!

Brendon Etter said...

We've all made this mistake. We sidle up to the wall that clearly has rejected our love... we need them to affirm us, to love us back...

The Replacements might have said it best: "The ones love us least / are the ones we die to please // the ones love us best / are the ones we lay to rest / and visit their graves on holidays at best"

Or something like that...

Love your web site, by the way. Nice work!

cdeline said...

thanks for the reply...seems love has taken a strange turn tonight...not love...just infatuation.

tis Valentines Day,

Brendon Etter said...

You keep your thumb on the Mpls. music scene, Chris, and love shall drift your way.