Who Doesn't Like A Nuclear Meltdown?
Setting: Internal, office.
(Red lights flashing, emergency lighting on stage, distant warning sirens, Wally sits typing away at his computer)
(enter Dylan, quickly)
Dylan: Wally! Wally! We gotta go! We gotta get out of here!
Wally: (normal pace and tone) Howdy, Dylan! Nice to see you. What brings you to my office on this beautiful spring day?
D: Wally! Evacuate! We have to go!
W: Ohh... sounds serious!
D: It is! Now, Wally!
W: I wish this place wouldn't be so serious all the time.
W: We really need to put some levity in our work.
D: A group of angry clowns have barricaded themselves inside the main reactor!
W: Well, that's more like it! Clowns. Who doesn't like a good clown show?
D: No! Wally, they're like crazy clowns!
W: Oh good, that's the best kind! Nutty clowns with their insane antics.
D: They are threatening to trigger a core meltdown if...
W: I wonder if they'll let me go get the little ones from home?
D: They've taken hostages!
W: Sandy, my middle child, she especially likes clowns.
D: They've started issuing demands!
W: Ooo! I wonder if they have any funny animals with them?
D: No! Are you not...
W: Monkeys, of course, and...
D: They're terrorists!
W: ...little ponies...
D: We have to go! Now!
W: Where'd you say this was at?
D: The main reactor!
W: Wonder if they set up a big top?
W: How exciting!
D: I'm your Disaster Buddy; we have to evacuate together!
W: Sure, we should all go together... evryone should bring the kids back and...
D: No! No! No! Do you understand, Wally! They could trigger a complete core meltdown at any time!
W: Clowns are so wonderfully unpredictable!
D: Catastrophic failure!
W: That's what makes them so funny!
D: Annihilation of everyone in a twenty mile radius.
W: Watch out for the clown with the bag of flour!
D: Death and destruction for hundreds of miles downwind.
W: Poof! Ohhh nooo! He poofed it all over you! You're covered in white powder!
D: Environmental degradation of hundreds of lakes, rivers and streams.
W: Uh-oh, Mr Flour-face, watch out for the bucket of water!
D: Leaving the groundwater and soil contaminated for hundreds of years.
W: Ahh! You got splashed! Now, they're checking you! Oh no! You taste like bread dough!
D: Animals starving.
W: Looky here, it's a big old Dutch oven... one clown is stoking the fire! What will happen now!?
D: People dying of cancer at alarming rates.
W: Ahh! The bread dough clown got tricked! Now, he's climbing into the oven!
D: Deformed babies.
W: The clown in the oven finally breaks out of his hot prison! Ohh! Look at that! His head is inside a comically large loaf of bread!
D: Now, Wally!! Now!!!
W: It must have really cooked him!
D: We're going to be cooked if we don't leave!
W: Hey! A big bonfire? Whatd'ya think?! You go get Kim and the kids, and I'll grab a whole bunch of marshmallows and my acoustic guitar and...
D: Screw this...
W: (not noticing that he's gone) We'll meet back here in an hour? Sounds like it could be a good one!
(lights fade out as Wally starts putting on his coat)