A Play A Day #255

The White Zone


Cast:
Voice
Man

Setting: Airport, sidewalk by main entrances. Front lip of the stage is painted one quarter of it's length white (stage right), then red, then blue, then turqoise (stage left, Man stands in white zone, two pieces of luggage on the ground)


Voice: (airport intercom voice, ten seconds or so between each iteration) The white zone is for the unloading of passengers only... The white zone is for the unloading of passengers only... The white zone is for the unloading of passengers only... (throat clearing sound over the intercom, more pointed now) The white zone. Is for the unloading of passengers. Only. (Man is not hearing any of this, more-obvious throat clearing) THE white zone is for THE unloading of passengers only. (pause) Hey! (Man notices this, looks around) Up here! The voice. I told you. The white zone is for the unloading of pasengers only. The white zone! The white... the one you are standing in. Yes. You. You are standing in the white zone. See, the curb! It's painted white. For a reason: It's for the unloading of passengers only. That's it. You can't just stand there with your ugly luggage and block the efficient unloading of all other passengers. (Man is still confused. The Voice can't be actually talking to him?) You stand in the way of this airport's important operations.... MOVE!! You! Move, now! Yes, move! Get out of the white zone! The white zone is not for you! Move! Move! Move! (Man finally picks up luggage, looking around nervously, starts moving to the red zone) That's it... plase don't make me work at it next time.

(Man stops in red zone, still nervous and confused, puts his luggage down)

Voice: The white zone is for the unloading of passengers only... The white zone is for the unloading of passengers only... The red zone is for the unloading of important passengers only... (clearing throat sound) The red zone is...

Man: What?

Voice: The red zone is for the unloading of important passengers only.

Man: Are you serious?

Voice: The voice is always serious.

Man: No. I have a right to stand here.

Voice: The voice is never wrong.

Man: Yes you are. You're wrong about this.

Voice: (much louder) The red zone is for the unloading of important passengers only!

Man: This is ridiculous.

Voice: The red zone is for...

Man: I am important!

(Man seethes, long pause, he calms down, he relaxes)

Voice: No you're not.

Man: (gritting teeth) Shut up!

Voice: No one important has luggage like that, besides...

Man: You can't just push me around, voice!

Voice: ... you're not being unloaded anyway; we've already established that in the white zone.

Man: There's no one else here!

Voice: The red zone is for the unloading of actually-important passengers only.

Man: I am impor...

Voice: The red zone is for the unloading of actually-important passengers only.

Man: Bu...

Voice: (getting faster and faster, Man tries to interject, but the voice just gets louder and faster each time) The red zone is for the unloading of actually-important passengers only. The red zone is for the unloading of actually-important passengers only. The red zone is for the unloading of actually-important passengers only! The red zone is for the unloading of actually-important passengers only! The red zone is for the unloading of actually-important passengers only!! The red zone is for the unloading of actually-important passengers only!!! The red zone is for the unloading of actually-important passengers only!!! The red zone is for the unloading of actually-important passengers only!!!!

Man: (bent over, hands on his ears, shouting) Shut up! Shut up!! Shut UP!!!!

Voice: (long pause, Voice waits for man to relax, Voice realizes Man is broken) Move.

(Man looks up, dejected, moves to the blue zone)

Voice: (very long pause) The blue zone... (Man picks up luggage and moves to the turquoise zone)

(this pause drags on a while too, Man awaits the inevitable)

Voice: Sooooo.... how's things?

Man: What?

Voice: Everything okay?

Man: You have some nerve...

Voice: I have no nerves... just a voice, you know.

Man: Just leave me be. Is that too much to ask? I'm waiting for my ride; I don't need this.

Voice: I'm sure you don't.

Man: Then stop.

Voice: Sure.

Man: Yes?

Voice: Not a problem.

Man: Good.

(very long pause)

Voice: I hate to break the bad news to you, but the turquoise zone is for escaped pedophiles, serial rapists and prospective terrorists only.

Man: Shut up!

Voice: I'm sorry, you're right, that wasn't very professional of me.

Man: You're just making stuff up!

Voice: (in full professional voice again) The turquoise zone is for escaped pedophiles, serial rapists and prospective terrorists only.

Man: You can't just acuse me of those things! None of that is true! None...

Voice: The turquoise zone is for escaped pedophiles, serial rapists and prospective terrorists only.

Man: I don't believe in you!

Voice: Look everyone! Look! An escaped pedophile!

Man: I'm not an escaped pedophile!!

Voice: (beat) Look everyone a regular pedophile!

Man: I'm not a pedophile!!

Voice: Pedophiles are chronic liars!

Man: Stop it!

Voice: He has bombs in that crappy luggage! He's a pedophile terrorist!

Man: I don't have any bombs! Help me! Please! Someone?!

Voice: He didn't want to blow up his good luggage when killing innocents by the thousands!

Man: I don't have any other luggage!

Voice: (beat) Watch out! He's poor too!

Man: No, I'm...

Voice: He's desperate! He wants to blow up airplanes and have sex with your children!

Man: No, you can't...

Voice: Everyone run! Run! RUN!!!

Man: (not knowing what to do, stands there for a while, terrified, then slowly starts looking around) Wait a minute.... who are you talking to?

Voice: What?

Man: Who are you talking to? Who are you telling to run?!

Voice: The people.

Man: What people?!

Voice: The people in the airport... passengers, workers, familes and so forth.

Man: There's no one eelse here.

Voice: Ha! Just the type of lie a pedophile terrorist would use.

Man: You forgot serial rapist.

Voice: What's wrong with you? You're sick.

Man: I was going to ask you the same question, sicko.

Voice: Nothing's wrong with me. I'm a voice.

Man: Why are you tormenting me?

Voice: Oh, come on! "Tormenting" is a bit strong, isn't it?

Man: No.

Voice: I was just goofing around... you know... having a little joke.

Man: Why?

Voice: No reason.

Man: No. Why?

Voice: Ohhh! Alright! Fine! You're the first person at this airport all day. I needed something to do!

Man: Did you ever wonder why people don't come to this airport?

Voice: No. Why would I?

Man: Might have something to do with how cruel you are.

Voice: Listen, I don't set the fake rules; I just speak them... over and over and over and over and over again.... no one pays attention. No one cares about me - the Voice!

Man: Maybe you jut need to be nicer.

Voice: But you don't understand how hard it is to just be a voice and have no one listen!

Man: I think we all feel like that from time to time.

Voice: Really?

Man: Yeah. Really.

Voice: (muffled crying, sniffling) Ohh...

Man: Voice?

Voice: (teary) Yeeah?

Man: You okay?

Voice: Yeah... it's just that... no one... no one has ever really "got" me before... you... you reached out to me.

Man: Well...

Voice: And you didn't have to, after how mean I was to you.

Man: It's okay... I forgive you.

Voice: You do?

Man: Yeah. I do.

Voice: (crying for a little while, sniffling, quiets down) Thank you.

Man: You're entirely welcome.

Voice: Say, you can actually stand in the blue zone.

Man: I can?

Voice: Of course. You need to stand somewhere, and the blue zone is the designated spot for you.

Man: Good, I kind of figured one of the zones had to be for picking up passengers... I mean where else was I going to stand, right? (small chuckle which the Voice shares with him, Man steps into the blue zone)

Voice: Yeah, you're right.

Man: Good. Wife should be here any minute.

Voice: (completely professional again) The blue zone is for the loading and unloading of total suckers only.

(Man drops luggage immediately)

(lights out)

(end)