Quadfecta
Cast:
Glory
Mix
Setting: Bare stage.
Glory: No. No. No. No. No. No. No. NO!
Mix: Glory, c'mon! It's fucking... we...
G: No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Fuck. No.
M: We... ain't nothing. No worries.
G: Fuck.
M: Fuck nothing.
G: Something. It's...
M: We got it, and something... what's the issue, issue is nothing.
G: No. Not true. You fuck around... they.. you... don't fuck around, Mix.
M: It's ours, ours, Glory!
G: Stop Mix. Ain't fucking nothing worth that... the risk, it's too high. Fuck you up.
M: I'm the one. I do this I do this I do this I do this... and it all comes to me. I'm the new king.
G: Fucking dumbfuck no-perspective dumbfuck is all.
M: I got it all four, Glory. Glory, all four. Mix is king. The new fucking king.
G: It's impossible.
M: It's the quadfecta.
G: A myth, fucking quadfecta fucking myth...
M: Only wish squirrels were driving!
G: Because you got a dick, you're mutherfucking stupid... your dick makes you stupid... why... ahhh...
M: No... it's about being the Rex... you know The Rex among the Canis! T. Rex, I guess. The Canis Major.
G: Look, Bitches know... this ain't T. Rex, fucking I'm a bitch... I know... your dick fucking kills you...
M: No. It's a good dick. Exciting as hell, Glory! Take it all! I'm the Rex! The Glory! The One! I'm the Glory, Glory!
G: You're dead... Rex is dead, long die the Rex. No Glory. You're a cocksucking... you moron... fucking toilet bowls and shinbones man... stick to what you know. Got no repect for danger... the leash is there for a reason for you, you know nothing, fucking leash is needed in your fucking case, and I hate, the fucking leash is the thing I cannot stand. I cannot tolerate the leash, but it fucking needs to be on you, you can't fucking quadfecta ain't fucking possible, dreaming is it. Cocksucking dreaming.
M: You wish you had the cock to suck... I see you licking your own cunt... not a shame in that... is what we do.
G: Figure of speech I know we fucking do that... it's in the species, Mix, point is, you ain't fucking smart, you pee against vertical surfaces, you smell assholes, you chase cars... fucking fine whatever, fucking common...
M: Yeah, and...
G: I mean, who doesn't, it's what we do...
M: We do those things...
G: We do them, because we fucking do, it's common.
M: We have to.
G: Don't fucking, don't give me, what's common is not mandatory shit, c'mon, common, you know that.
M: No, for you, for me, yeah, I have to. We got the toilet bowl... that's good shit... we know that... It's born in us... got piss on the vertical surfaces, assholes, chasing the fucking cars, keep'em away. And got to fuck the fucking legs.
G: Whether you got to or not is not the point, point is, point is, we can't combine all of them. Impossible, deadly.
M: The Mutherfucking Cocksucking Quadfecta, Glory!
G: You die, Mix.
M: I'm the new king!
G: You're dead, Mix. Not possible, fucking car moving twenty-five, rolling past the house... you chase...
M: Fucking twenty-five's nothing...
G: Maybe so, point is...
M: I catch the fucker in three seconds. Fucking fast fucking Mix I am.
G: Yeah, we know that... you catch it... that's one... no problem.
M: See.
G: Then, what... the asshole?
M: Yeah, fucking sniff the asshole...
G: The car asshole...
M: Check it out... need to know... friend or foe...
G: The car asshole.
M: I don't know what it... fucking place where the shit comes out... back-end of the car.
G: The asshole... fine...
M: Trick is though... don't care if it's fucking friend or foe... just step two, the second step, the second step in the quadfecta...
G: Then, the piss.
M: Yeah, harder to piss at twenty-five... but I been training, been doing, been doing, been doing... uhh...
G: Been doing, what you been doing...
M: Been doing piss-bys on stop signs at thirty...
G: Piss-bys... crazy mutherfucker you are... you even hitting the post?
M: All the fucking time! Just a little squirt... psst is all... thirty fucking miles an hour... hitting stop signs so fast... the one one the corner at the top of the hill...
G: Not bad, Mix... but four is not fucking possible.
M: It is just fucking...
G: Fucking road kill is all you will be...
M: Gonna fuck that tire...
G: Dead Mix.. you die...
M: Gonna make the tire my bitch...
G: You fuck you die, tire is moving Mix, you fuck it, it fucks you.
M: The quadfecta!
G: Doesn't count if you fucking die!
M: I been saving up... haven't fucked a tire in almost a week... I'm set to pop!
G: You'll fucking die, Mix...
M: You're my witness, Glory.
G: Don't want to fucking watch, Mix.
M: Here comes one... (starts stretching)
G: Mix... don't.
M: Too late, Glory. Quadfecta is mine!
G: Mix... not worth it.
M: It's time! (takes off after car, savagely barking offstage)
G: Fucking stupid... at least he'll die with a smile...
(Glory walks off the other direction)
(lights out)
(end)
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