October 9, 2006

A Play A Day #179

Running


Cast:
Fred
Jeannie

Setting: Bare stage.


(Enter Fred, walks down center)

Fred: Running is the most natural and simple sport that the human race could ever hope to invent. Consequently, it is the most difficult sport; the easiest to do is usually the hardest to master. Running is the loneliest sport, great distances covered with no human contact, no teammates, no coaches, just you and your legs, one foot, two feet, pound, pound, pound. The runner deals with great changes in temperature, wind speed, precipitation, cars, wild animals, domesticated animals, and very stupid people who for some reason find it amusing to yell obscenities at runners as they pass by. They do not have the soothing feel of chlorinated water massaging their muscles at one equanimous temperature.

(Jeannie runs by behind Fred; wearing a running outfit. She crosses sl to sr then off, Fred looks behind him just in time to catch her darting offstage)

... ummm... at one equanimous temperature. (to himself) already said that... uhhh... (remembering his spot) Runners have the whole world as a field, which may seem like a blessing if you look at this as a quest for land, but, in reality, what runners have is a limitless boundary. A frightening situation where the freedom to choose leads to aimless wandering over any course that seems suitable. This dilutes our drive for ...

(Jeannie runs by again, same as before)

for... a.... uhhh.... dilutes our drive for a... uhhh... reasonable goal, leaves us confused about our potential. No goal line means no end. So runners obsess and overshoot, trying to go faster and ...

(Jeannie runs by again, faster, Fred turns very quickly)

Stop! (Jeannie keeps going)

(turns back to audience, nervous laugh to himself)

... uhhh... and once the runner finds... no, wait, that's not it... uhhh... (runs through several lines to himself, barely audible, getting to his spot) ... runners obsess and overshoot, trying to go faster and faster. There isn't a serious...

(Jeannie runs on panting hard, slowed down a bit, Fred jumps back toward her and tries to grab her arm, fails to do so, she continues off, Fred delivers a vicious stage whisper as she is exiting) Jeannie! Damnit.

(turns back to audience, confused, lost, struggles)

Dilutes our drive for a reasonable goal (realizes that he's done these lines, says them hurriedly) Leaves us confused about our potential. No goal line means no end. So runners obsess and overshoot, trying to go faster and faster ...

(jumps back and stops Jeannie as he hears her coming onstage, what follows is stage whispers with their heads close together, Fred very conscientious of the crowd, trying to cover)

Jeannie! What are you doing?!

Jeannie: Running.

Fred: We're on here.

Jeannie: What? The show?

Fred: Started about five minutes ago, the opening monologue...

Jeannie: But... why?

Fred: Ahh... Jeannie, it sets up the entire play, gives the whole depth to the metaphor that will play out for the next two hours.

Jeannie: The metaphor?

Fred: Running? The quest for perfection. The drive that ultimately destroys the hero.

Jeannie: But, why are you doing it tonight?

Fred: Opening night, Jeannie! It's opening night!

Jeannie: No, that's tomorrow. It's a break day after tech week, then opening night. I read the schedule, Fred.

Fred: (discrete indication of the audience)Then who are they, Jeannie? Huh?!

Jeannie: Ohh... I thought it was just a bunch of techies relaxing after a tough week... I mean, they look grubby enough to...

Fred: (putting his hand over her mouth) Stop... listen... just get up here and do your part.

Jeannie: Now?

Fred: Yes, now.

Jeannie: Okay, okay... jeez...

(lights down, Fred off, Jeannie comes down center, lights up)

Jeannie: Running is the most natural and simple sport that the human race could ever hope to invent. Consequently, it is the most difficult sport; the easiest to do is usually the hardest to master. Running is the loneliest sport, great distances covered with no human contact, no teammates, no coaches, just you and your legs, one foot, two feet, pound, pound, pound. The runner deals with great changes in temperature, wind speed, precipitation, cars, wild animals, domesticated animals, and very stupid people who for some reason find it amusing to yell obscenities at runners as they pass by. They do not have the soothing feel of chlorinated water massaging their muscles at one equanimous temperature.

(Fred runs by behind Jeannie; wearing a running outfit. He crosses sl to sr then off, Jeannie looks behind her just in time to catch him darting offstage)

(Play repeats from here, with the two having switched roles.)

(keep going)

(keep going)

(keep going)

(never)

(ever)

(stop)

(you're running)


(end)

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