The 1,2,3
Characters:
1
2
3
Setting: Wherever numbers hang out. Let's say a bar.
1: Here's why it's important...
2: It's nothing like that...
1: Yeah, it is...
3: I don't think it's really...
2: Yep...
1: No, what do you guys know?
3: Plenty.
1: Yo, you know I'm elemental!
2: Just because you go into the whole lot of us.
3: You're a whore.
1: Blah, blah... whatever...
2: But you get nothing out of it.
1: I get plenty...
3: No, you don't; you go in, and all you get is the same thing that you went into.
1: Exactly, I get the whole thing!
2: But nothing new, man... nothing new!
3: No, you're like putting sugar in sugar...
1: Sure, twice as sweet!
2: No, I'm twice as sweet, don't even try taking...
3: There's the other thing...
1: Don't you bring that up again!
3: Why...
1: Shut it!
2: I'll do it...
1: No, neither one of you!
2: Ohh... you had to spike that one in our faces, didn't you...
3: Way to go, shithead, you just spiked yourself that time!
2: What... no!
3: Yeah, you said "spike that one in our faces"...
2: Did I? Shit!
3: That's alright, forget it...
2: Well, we still got the mult...
1: No!! You don't!
3: Hey man! Did you hear about that one?
1: Shut up!
2: No man? What about that one?
1: You fuckers! It's not like...
3: Yeah, he jumps on board acts like he can take you far, then you just sit there.
1: Fuckers are just jealous!
2: Train never leaves the station.
3: Sad.
1: Yeah, sad and lame fuckers like you!
2: Just can't change a thing, either going in or pulling out!
3: Totally impotent.
1: Shut the hell up!
2: With such a nice shape too...
1: Jealous.
2: You figure he'd have some virility...
1: I'm leaving...
3: Ah, c'mon! You know were just messing with you!
1: Just shut the hell up, alright!
2: Boy, some can dish it out, huh?
1: I hate you two!
3: Sorry, two, I guess I'm still in with him.
2: Fine, you're buying the next round.
3: Fuck that.
1: Listen, all I was saying was that we can't just rest on our laurels.
2: I rested on a laurel once.
1: Shut up, you know what I mean!
3: I don't think we're resting on our laurels; just relax...
1: We have to be strong.
2: We can't help where it falls.
3: Yeah. It was five percent last week, and I talked with five the other day...
1: How'd he handle it?
3: Said it was o.k., a lot of press calls; like a shit load...
1: Yeah, that's what I'm worried about...
2: Dude, there's no way it can get that low, relax!
1: I don't know.
3: I'm the closest right now; you guys don't have to worry.
2: The best polls have plus or minus three percent error anyway.
1: True. Hits one of us, it'll hit us all, won't it?
2: Yep.
3: Very true.
1: Alright; why don't I get the next round, boys?
3: Nah, that's enough for me.
2: Suppose so. Three can't be shitfaced when the press comes knocking.
1: It's so weird; I never thought we'd have to worry about a situation like this, you know?
2: Yeh, bizarre.
3: No shit.
(lights start fading)
1: I mean, who woulda thought the President's approval rating could drop this far?
2: I hear ya.
3: Turns out the bastard has weapons of mass destruction too.
1: Unbelievable.
(lights out)
(end)
3 comments:
This is fantastic! You're so fucking creative. Yeah, and I read your blog. And what's more...I blogged too.
Thank you, dear one. I'll give you a big hug at rehearsal tonight...
A hug and a sweater, I hope. What kind of dumbass drops a sweater in your front yard. It's like the grunge Cinderella, except that anyone could fit that sweater, so it's not as special as a glass slipper. Plus, if that sweater is a symbol of my virginity, I'm in big trouble. It's large, brown and has been worn several times. Ew.
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