When in the course of my often superhuman events, I can lose track of the simple things and people in the world.
The glory of a sporting spectacle like the Olympics reminds me of how meaningless this mayoral contest seems when compared to the valor of amateur athletic competition of such magnificent caliber.
Often I feel as if the Olympics inspire me often nearly as much as I do.
They don't actually, but they come close.
So, as a community, I am asking that Northfield come together around the uplifting narrative of this international contest and put all petty political contests aside for the duration of the events in Beijing.
Can't we enjoy the collective artistry of the world's greatest athletes and competitors without sinking into the mire of wretched political potshots?
I know I can.
I doubt my miserable bastard opponents will.
Because they suck.
They're just ugly dickwads who engage in playground name-calling and bullying.
Sadly, they also want to continue to subject Northfielders to the photocopied pablum they pass off as platforms.
I won't stoop under their low, low bars for human behavior and interaction.
I am a candidate for mayor precisely because I can bring change and a new enlightened age to local politics by focusing on only the positive aspects of...
The Olympics are...
Like in another day, and that's it?
Ahhh... fuck this then.