November 15, 2007

Other Military Strategies Besides "Shock & Awe"

With the overwhelming success of the "Shock & Awe" strategy in Iraq, it may seem tempting to apply that tactic to every new war we create.

Never one to rest on my laurels - because I've misplaced them - I say, let's think creatively. Let's develop new plans for invading and subduing other nations that don't stand a chance, and will actually stand a negative chance when we hit them with these brilliant military schemes:


1. Mock & Guffaw

2. Exterminate & Explode

3. Run Around & Scream

4. Johnson & Johnson

5. Stun & Mime

6. Stretch & Breathe (also good for yoga)

7. Fuck & Run

8. Gambol & Cavort

9. Kill & Maim

10. Love & Leave

11. Sniff & Lick

12. Piss & Moan (works well when combined with Bitch & Complain)

13. Rinse & Repeat

14. Lift & Separate

15. Thrill & Delight

16. Trudge & Bore

17. Empathize & Kill

18. Shake & Shimmy

19. Surprise & Entrance

20. Enslave & Liberate

21. Bemuse & Befuddle

22. Kill & Kill

23. Destroy & Deny

24. Belittle & Bewitch

25. Dance & Drink

26. Shucks & Awww



6 comments:

Circe said...

26. Dine & Dash

27. Stop Drop & Roll

28. Peaches & Cream

29. Peaches & Herb

30. Lock & Load

31. Kum & Go

32. Pump & Munch

33. Spit & Shine

Poopyhead said...

34. Wank & Run
35. Closet & Overcompensate
36. Spears & Lohan (aka Cultural degradation?)
37. Spend & Laugh
38. Flag & Wave
39. Upgrade & Flip
40. * & !

Bleeet said...

Okay, I was going to do "Kum & Go", but I pulled back, or pulled out, or something like that... I left really quickly and don't remember.

Also, Poopyhead, "Flag & Wave" is very nice. Excellent choice.

ShOI said...

41. Scratch & Sniff
42. Bewitch, Bother, & Bewilder (the Ella Fitzgerald strategy)
43. Point & Criticize
44. Fart & Blame
45. This & That
46. Salt & Pepper
47. Bomb & Pray

Jim H. said...

Sturm und Drang

Bleeet said...

Love the Point & Criticize, but, Jim, "Sturm und Drang" is spelled wrong... you meant "Storm & Drag", right?

Stomp & Dig?
Stream & Dam?

"und" is properly spelled "&"