February 8, 2011

Variations on "There Are Only Two Types of People in This World"

There are only two types of people in this world: people who make simplistic, absurdly extreme comparisons and people who are exactly the same as Hitler.

There are only two types of people in this world: people and people who are not part of that first group of people.

There are only two types of people in this world: dead people and people who are becoming dead.

There are only two types of people in this world: people who lie and people who lie on top of them.

There are only two types of people in this world: fish and robots.

There are only two types of people in this world: people in this world and people in some other world.

There are only two types of people in this world: people who are right-handed and people who walk backwards.

There are only two types of people in this world: people who fit an idealized condition and people who fail to meet that same condition and who are now deserving of your scorn.

There are only two types of people in this world: people who argue good smart always and stuff.

There are only two types of people in this world: people who don't trust anyone to listen to what they're saying and MORONS WHO DON'T LISTEN TO WHAT SOMEONE IS SAYING!

There are only two types of people in this world: people who may or may not be me and people who may or may not be me.

There are only 10 types of people in this world: people who know binary and people who don't and, apparently, eight other types of people, too.

There are only two types of people in this world: people who finish what they start,

5 comments:

Jean Cole said...

Brian,

Some time ago I read your piece, "I hate the Iron Range." Quite some time ago. I've been thinking about reprinting it with your permission. Is it still an accurate portrayal of your feelings?

Jean Cole
Editor, Hometown Focus
www.hometownfocus.us

Brendon Etter said...

Jean,

I simplify in that piece because of the format and the larger point I was trying to make.

I would say that it is an accurate _artistic_ portrayal of my feelings, but it lacks the subtlety of a longer piece or the nuance I might have put into a play with a similar theme. (I typically write plays, not essays.)

As to using it, to what end would you want to reprint it? What's the context? Would it be a stand-alone one-off piece, part of a series, or one of several stories about people's feelings by myself or various writers?

Let me know, and thank you.

- Brendon Etter

Jean Cole said...

Brendon (not Brian, sorry),

I'm not sure what context yet. But on the Range there are those who can envision a greater future for the area, one that is not dependent on mining. One that is dependent on other natural resources - like people. Clearly, it would need context or it would simply be inflammatory and irresponsible. But I've got a few ideas. When I get them solidified, I'll let you know.

Thanks,

Jean

Brendon Etter said...

Jean,

One of the reasons I wrote that essay is to summarize what I felt growing up there, and in northern Minnesota in general.

I couldn't see a future for the Iron Range except as another industrial backwater. It had served its purpose, and it was now "abandoned."

If it is to have a future, it needs to be in its people, though that is almost tautological. I think its future lies in its past as a progressive haven: blue-collar but educated and proud of both of those things.

The slow bend away from education and art which has been happening since the 1970s is its death knell.

The truth is that I love the Iron Range in so many ways, but I am also sad about what it has become. Maybe that is a sentiment that is secretly shared by some of those envisioning the future on the Range. I hope it drives them to create something great again.

Jean Cole said...

just got teary