February 24, 2011

Radiohead's New Album (if the tracks were titled honestly)

Dear Radiohead,

There was a time when you deserved even the over-hype.  Not any longer.  You could say you are phoning-in the new album, "King of Limbs," quite accurately, as most of the songs appear to have been recorded on or through cell phones of varying quality.

I could understand this if you titled the tracks with something approaching Truth In Labeling standards.

I'll do it for you.

Here are some suggested honest Radiohead song titles, in no particular order because they are pretty much interchangeable...

- Sleepytime Mumbling / We Dare You To Remember This Song
- Disinterested Tapping On Electronic Drums
- Passionless
- This Song Starts Then Ends A Few Minutes Later
- Sleepytime Mumbling (With 50% More Music-Like Substance!)
- The Sound Of One Band Not Caring
- We're Pretty Sure We Were Going For Something Musicy Here
- Something We Did With Echo Effects 
- Wait!  Was That Being Recorded?
- We Pretend To Not Care, But We Are Secretly Panicked By Our Lack Of Creativity
- Half-Hearted Keening (With Generic Backing Ambiance)
- Cool Kids Will Pretend They Hear Something Meaningful In This One

I hope this helps you to be more fair to consumers in the future.


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