HOW TO NOT TELL A JOKE #2
everywhere, anywhere, somewhere, not nowhere
JOKE TELLER: Is your refrigerator running?
JOKE VICTIM: Yeah.
JT: Are you sure it's running?
JV: I think so. It was working fine this morning when I left my place.
JT: Is it running now?
JV: Not entirely, but...
JT: What if it isn't?
JV: I'd have to check and...
JT: 'Cause maybe it isn't.
JV: Maybe not.
JT: Then what would you do?
JV: (beat) Get it fixed?
JT: You know what you wouldn't have to do?
JT: If it wasn't?
JV: If it wasn't.
JT: You wouldn't have to chase it.
JV: Chase it?
JT: You would be able to go home and see - There's my refrigerator, right there! You could just stay home then and not chase it.
JT: Maybe even open it up and get some food for supper.
JV: Not if it wasn't running.
JT: No. If it wasn't running.
JV: Right, food might be rotten.
JT: Why would it be rotten?
JV: The fridge is dead.
JT: No, it's not running.
JV: Then I wouldn't want to eat rotten food.
JV: It'd be fine if it was only a couple hours or something.
JT: But it would still be there.
JV: Yeah, it...
JT: So, what's the problem?
JV: It's not running... like you said?
JT: So, everything's cool then!
JV: Not my fridge. It's not.
JT: Yes! It's right in front of you!
JV: At home?
JT: Yes, not here, at home. It's not running!
JV: Wait. How do you know it's not running?
JT: Because it's a fridge!
JV: So what? It's pretty new. A good brand.
JT: But it's a refrigerator!
JV: I know, but how do you know it's not running?
JT: Because refrigerators don't run!
JV: You have bad luck with fridges or something?
JT: No! No fridges run!
JV: What the hell...?
JT: What's wrong with you?!
JV: Listen, I...
JT: You must live in some strange world where refrigerators can run?
JV: Of course I do.
JT: Seriously? Shit, that's dangerous! Fridges running around, crushing people, smashing into cars, killing...
JV: Ohh! Ohhhh! Running! Not... running! I get it.
JT: See? See?
JV: Yeah! Chase it... I wouldn't chase it.
JT: Get it?
JV: Yeah, I get it.
JT: Funny joke.
JT: My brother can fix you fridge, you know, if it's not... running.
JT: He's really good. I have his business card in my... Here let me get it for you.
(JT fishes in pocket, lights fade)