February 19, 2011

How To Not Tell A Joke #2 - Short Play


Joke Teller
Joke Victim

everywhere, anywhere, somewhere, not nowhere

JOKE TELLER: Is your refrigerator running?


JT: Are you sure it's running?

JV: I think so.  It was working fine this morning when I left my place.

JT: Is it running now?

JV: Probably.

JT: Sure?

JV: Not entirely, but...

JT: What if it isn't?

JV: I'd have to check and...

JT: 'Cause maybe it isn't.

JV: Maybe not.

JT: Then what would you do?

JV: (beat) Get it fixed?

JT: You know what you wouldn't have to do?

JV: No.

JT: If it wasn't?

JV: If it wasn't.

JT: You wouldn't have to chase it.

JV: Chase it?

JT: You would be able to go home and see - There's my refrigerator, right there!  You could just stay home then and not chase it.

JV: Okay.

JT: Maybe even open it up and get some food for supper.

JV: Not if it wasn't running.

JT: No.  If it wasn't running.

JV: Right, food might be rotten.

JT: Why would it be rotten?

JV: The fridge is dead.

JT: No, it's not running.

JV: Then I wouldn't want to eat rotten food.

JT: What?

JV: It'd be fine if it was only a couple hours or something.

JT: But it would still be there.

JV: Yeah, it...

JT: So, what's the problem?

JV: It's not running... like you said?

JT: So, everything's cool then!

JV: Not my fridge.  It's not.

JT: Yes!  It's right in front of you!

JV: At home?

JT: Yes, not here, at home.  It's not running!

JV: Wait.  How do you know it's not running?

JT: Because it's a fridge!

JV: So what?  It's pretty new.  A good brand.

JT: But it's a refrigerator!

JV: I know, but how do you know it's not running?

JT: Because refrigerators don't run!

JV: You have bad luck with fridges or something?

JT: No!  No fridges run!

JV: What the hell...?

JT: What's wrong with you?!

JV: Listen, I...

JT: You must live in some strange world where refrigerators can run?

JV: Of course I do.

JT: Seriously?  Shit, that's dangerous!  Fridges running around, crushing people, smashing into cars, killing...

JV: Ohh!  Ohhhh!  Running! Not... running! I get it.

JT: See?  See?

JV: Yeah! Chase it... I wouldn't chase it.

JT: Get it?

JV: Yeah, I get it.

JT: Funny joke.

JV: Yes.

(long pause)

JT: My brother can fix you fridge, you know, if it's not... running.

JV: Okay.

JT: He's really good.  I have his business card in my...  Here let me get it for you.

(JT fishes in pocket, lights fade)


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