February 17, 2011

How To Not Tell A Joke #1 - Short Play


Joke Teller
Joke Victim

Wherever, whenever, however

JOKE TELLER: Have you heard this one?

JOKE VICTIM: I don't know.

JT: This one.

JV: I haven't heard it...

JT: Good, good, good...

JV: ...yet.

JT: 'Cause it's funny as hell!

JV: But.. the joke? Yeah, okay.

JT: So you haven't heard it?

JV: Yeah, no... I guess not... let's say no.

JT: Cool! Here it is!

JV: Go for it.

JT: Okay, okay... There's this road... highway... a road, like any road, I think... a road...

JV: Right...

JT: No... not a highway, too big... a road, just a road... any road, I think... smaller probably...

JV: A road.

JT: Not a path! No!

JV: I didn't say path. Did I?

JT: Not a path, a path is too small. It's a road.

JV: A road, yes. I heard road.

JT: Definitely. A road is right there.

(long pause)

JV: There's a road...

(long pause)

JT: Probably paved! A paved road!

JV: Great!

JT: ...asphalt or concrete something...

JV: Doesn't matter.

JT: Doesn't matter.

JV: Doesn't matter, no.

JT: No, doesn't matter.

JV: Okay...

JT: Not gravel.

JV: No.

JT: Gravel's not funny.

JV: It's not?

JT: Not in this joke, gravel would be stupid. It would ruin the whole joke.

JV: Yeah.

JT: Don't you think?

JV: Gravel?

JT: Yeah.

JV: No, no gravel.

JT: A paved road.

JV: Great!

JT: Asphalt, I think. And there's this road. This road is there, like right in the middle of town, not the outskirts or a rural area, right in town, because it would be gravel in the country, not that all country roads are gravel, because they're not. I've been on lots of roads that were paved in the country. Gravel ones out there too, but we're not talking about gravel.

JV: No.

(long pause)

JV: We're not.

(long pause)

JT: (bursting loudly and quickly) A chicken crosses it!

(JT laughs loudly for quite a while, ad libs chicken running motions and appropriate phrases and sounds)

JV: I wonder why.

JT: (trying to gain control of the laughter) Why?

JV: Why a chicken crosses it.

JT: The road?

JV: Yeah. Why?

(long, thoughtful pause)

JT: I don't know.

(waits a couple beats)

JV: Could you find out?

JT: Yeah... yeah... Yeah! I could! I can do that!

JV: Great!

JT: Thanks! (starts leaving, talking to himself) Awesome! Awesome! Why? Why? Why? Gravel? No... concrete, maybe... asphalt?

(lights fade out, JV hangs head)


No comments: