In response to preemptive criticism of my play, "Sex With Seven Women", by moral authorities, I have opted to make the following changes to prevent further decay in our society.
1. Probably changing the name to either "Making Sterile Monogamous Love To Seven Women" or "Sex With Three And A Half Women" - which would decrease it's immorality by fifty per cent!
2. Taking out three of the four gang bang scenes.
3. No longer requiring audience members to renounce Christ as a condition for admission.
4. Constantly stopping the play to ask the audience to make suggestions for increasing its inspirational attributes.
5. Goat sacrifice scene will now be shown on video, not live.
6. Cameo appearance by Jesus right before the first intermission.
7. Two words: Cuddly-Wuddly bunnies.
8. Police on hand at all times to arrest anyone for thoughts or actions which reach a certain level on their Immoralometers.
9. Replacing most gratuitous sex with gratuitous violence.
10. All stage nudity will be tastefully digitized out.
11. Script being screened by the appropriate federal and state government agents.
12. Making it very difficult for people to see the show by not once telling them where they can purchase tickets.
(NB: This is satire. I do wish I could have worked bunnies into the play somewhere, though, especially cuddly-wuddly ones with the adorable little noses that twitch, and the soft ears, and...)
A large group of us will be there on Friday night, smelling of pre-theater Chapati.
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