A Play A Day #110

The Hunger For Memory


Cast:
Floo
Patoo

Setting: Blank stage, with stuff everywhere, this should be random stuff, meaning stuff that the actors have never seen before that performance.


Floo: (entering talking to Patoo) I don't know... no, I guess, it's probably not possible to knock yourself out on purpose.

Patoo: I saw this guy do it on the TV.

F: They can film things anyway they want, just make it look like the guy knocked...

P: No, no... this was in college, at a party, I mean the guy head-butted the TV really hard and knocked himself out.

F: Oh, ouch... like the screen?

P: No, no, it was the corner, his forehead kinda split open.

F: Gross... crazy, drunk guys are so stupid.

P: No, he was totally sober.

F: Weird.

P: (picking up an object) Hey, what's this thing?

F: Wow! I haven't seen one of these since I was a kid!

P: Really?

F: No. Just kidding.

P: Oh.

F: Hey! Look over there!

P: What is it?

F: I don't know, but I haven't seen one of those since I was a little kid!

P: Really?

F: Brings back so many memories!

P: How come you don't know what it is then?

F: I have a terrible memory, I guess.

P: Ouch, hey, look what I stepped on.

F: Wow! I stepped on one of those once, when I was little. Painful!

P: Oh, it doesn't hurt that bad, just a little surprised, I guess.

F: Well, I was barefoot, it was a beautiful spring day, about 70 degrees, my mother was hanging clothes on the line, the wind was coming out of the east at ten miles per hour, and she was putting a pair of my Dad's red socks on the...

P: Don't... don't you have a.. terrible memory?

F: What makes you say that?

P: You... uhhh... just said that you did...

F: Did I?

P: Ummm... yeah... pretty sure...

F: Hmmm... well, anyway, I stepped on one of those things, and I was barefoot, and it sliced my foot clean off!

P: What?

F: That hurt a lot! I was screaming and crying for hours!

P: (pointing at her feet, Floo is in sandles) But you have two normal feet.

F: They sewed it back on!

P: I don't see any scars...

F: That's because it was the other foot.

P: ...on either foot...

F: Or my hand.

P: You stepped on it with your hand?

F: Yes, I used to walk around on my hands all the time...

P: How could you forget that it was your hand, and not your foot.

F: Terrible memory.

P: But you described this whole scene with the wind speed and everything...

F: I mean, it was a terrible memory, so traumatic.

P: Sure, it must be, but...

F: So, I've forgotten the whole thing.

P: No! You... what?

F: I just have this terrible scar on my finger from where they sewed it back on.

P: Hand?! You meant "Hand"! Where they sewed you HAND back on!?

F: Yes, terrible scar.

P: (grabbing her hand) But the scar's on your finger!

F: Yes, they sewed the hand on from the other side.

P: What?!! Do... do you know what you just said!!?

F: No, sorry, I don't remember.

P: You said they sewed your hand on from your fingertip!

F: Sorry, it was just so traumatic; I don't remember anything about it.

P: No, I asked you if you realized what you just said.. right now!... about the scar on your finger!

F: No, I don't remember saying anything about the scar on my finger.

P: (starting clearly, ending deliriously) You said you walked on your hands until you had your hand cut off by (air quotes) "stepping" on one of (wielding prop) these things and then the doctors sewed it back on from the fingertip, as opposed to from the wrist where a hand that has been cut off would have to be sewn back on!!!

F: I did?

P: YES!! YOU!! DID!!

F: Well, I would certainly remember if I said something that ridiculous.

P: But you did!

F: Weird.

P: Why are you lying to me?

F: Habit.

P: Break it!

F: O.K. (long pause, she concentrates, rubs her temples) Done.

P: Ummm... o... k...

F: Hey, look at this thing!

P: Wow! I haven't seen one of those since I was a kid.

F: (overlapping) I haven't seen one of those since I was little.

P: Stop saying that!

F: I remember, I'd just returned from the hospital, where they sewed my ear back on...

P: Stop it!

F: My dog brought it over to me. He was probably feeling bad for eating my ear.

P: What? Your dog bit your ear off?!

F: Oh no! Just ate it.

P: No! Just don't even start, please!

F: Well, after they sewed it back on, I was lying on a blanket in the backyard, and the dog brought one of those over to me.

P: But your dog ate the ear! How did they sew on something...

F: They sewed my good ear to the side where my dog ate the other.

P: Alright, listen, I'm leaving. (starts leaving)

F: (walking slowly after her, talking in her general direction, lights fading) It still hurts... my ear... doctors call it "phantom pain", it hurts even though the limb or ear isn't there anymore.

P: (turning back to her) SHUT! UP! You have both your ears!

F: (feeling them) Do I? I don't remember. I have what doctors call "phantom phantom pain" (Patoo turns again and storms off; Floo slowly follows, lights out over the last few words)I still feel phantom pain even though the ear is actually there again. (Floo is now offstage too) Anyway, there I was, sitting on my back porch and my cat brought me one of these and...

(end)