In honor of Blog Action Day (or BAD, as those of us in the inner circle call it) and its focus on the environment, I have decided to let my ample readership know that I am conscientiously taking steps on this blog to protect our environment.
For too long, I have typed away - oblivious to how my blog actions and inblog inactions have deleteriously effected our shared environment. No more.
Forthwith, I announce the following major measures for how I will save the environment with this blog.
1. All posts being typed with recycled, post-consumer data.
2. Purchasing my own environment that I don't have to share with anyone else.
3. Clearing old-growth tress now only to make laughing room for extremely funny jokes. No longer felling them to crush squirrels, even though they deserve it.
5. Computer now powered by hamster wheel - a very, very big hamster wheel that I plug into the wall.
6. As can be seen by the surfeit of advertising here, I accept financial sponsorship from responsible corporate citizens only.
7. Receiving nearly ten percent of my ideas from the sun.
8. Reminding readers that they are bad, bad people who should kill themselves immediately to save natural resources.
9. Each post now only requires 1.5 cows to be slaughtered, down from a high of 1.9 per entry.
10. Reusing keystrokes from old posts.
11. Data now encoded with better-designed and aerodynamic zeros and ones for more energy efficient travel on both the information superhighway and the information city streets.
12. Using the word "sustainable" more often.
13. Ingesting 15% less pesticide before writing.
14. Central brain processing unit now powered exclusively by renewable, frothy grain alcohol.
Where do you get off calling me 'ample?'
I used a manual typewriter for my blog action day post. I taped the paper to the screen and it looks great. What? You can't see it?
I used a typewriter for this post too! I just held the typeheads against the monitor's screen and hit the keys extremely hard.
13. Trapping hot air created by posts and storing it underground in porous rock as to reign in global warming.
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