The Lazes
Cast:
Weir
Plunk
Setting: Inside, two bean bag chairs, two extremely-casually dressed twenty-something guys are completely melted into them, they don't really move when talking, they are static.
Weir: Whadya wanna do?
Plunk: I dunno.
W: Hang out.
P: Yeah.
W: Here just.
P: Yeah.
W: Hang.
P: Good.
W: Yeah.
P: 'Right.
W: Yeah.
P: Hangin'.
W: That, yeah.
P: What do you wanna do?
W: Uhhh... I dunno.
P: Cool.
W: Yeah.
P: Hang out.
W: I guess.
P: Yeah.
W: Just sittin'.
P: Yeah, right.
W: Sittin'.
P: Here, yeah.
W: Bean bag.
P: Love bean bags.
W: Why not.
P: Yeah. Bean bags.
W: Beans.
P: In bags.
W: Genius.
P: Sittin' on beans.
W: They're not chairs though.
P: Bags.
W: What if they were bean chairs?
P: Uhhh... stupid.
W: I guess.
P: Good thing they're not real beans.
W: What?
P: The bean bags.
W: Why's it good?
P: The weight, man.
W: Yeah.
P: Heavy.
W: Yeah, heavy.
P: Yep.
W: Like three hundred pounds.
P: What?
W: The bags like three hundred.
P: No, no, not even close.
W: Four hundred?
P: No, man, like sixty, eighty pounds max.
W: I was thinking of heavy beans.
P: Sure, I suppose.
W: Sixty pounds.
P: Eighty, max.
W: Yeah.
P: Love'em.
W: Stretch out.
P: Sleep in 'em all the time.
W: Keep'em outta the sun though.
P: Yeah, wake up in a sweat pond.
W: Could drown.
P: Dangerous.
W: Damn straight.
P: Killers.
W: Bean bag murderers.
P: The ol' sweat death.
W: Good one.
P: Thanks.
W: So, whadya wanna do?
P: Uhh... nothing.
W: Yeah, cool enough.
P: Maybe...
W: Yeah.
P: Origami.
W: What?
P: Origami.
W: Origami?
P: Origami, yeah.
W: What about it?
P: You asked what'd I wanna do.
W: Yeah, just hangin'.
P: Yeah, but now, it's origami.
W: Really?
P: Yeah, origami.
W: Now?
P: Yeah, you got paper?
W: Sure, maybe... somewhere.
P: Good, need paper.
W: Yeah.
P: It's like funny paper folding.
W: Yeah, I know.
P: Make all kindsa shit.
W: Yeah, I know.
P: Like a frog, box you can blow up.
W: Yeah, I know, it's paper folding.
P: Real fancy though.
W: Right.
(long pause)
P: Didya get any paper?
W: What?
P: Paper?
W: Yeah, no.
P: Oh, you should.
W: What kind?
P: I dunno.
W: Me either.
P: Never done it before.
W: Ohh... I thought...
P: Nahh... I just thought you asked what'd I wanna do I thought some of that Japanese paper folding stuff.
W: Origami.
P: Seems neat.
W: Yeah.
P: I don't know how to do it, though.
W: Yeah, me either, paper folding...
P: But, you know me, always trying new things.
W: So, something else?
P: Something else?
W: Besides origami, to do?
P: Ohhh. Besides origami?
W: Yeah, we can't do that.
P: Geez, man, what else is there?
W: Uhhh... lotsa things, probably.
P: Yeah? Like?
W: Ummm... we could watch TV.
P: Nahh... too boring.
W: Right... it is.
P: We are much more exciting than TV.
W: Yeah... much.
P: A lot.
W: That too.
P: We could like hang out...
W: And stuff...
P: Cards?
W: Cards? Like... ummm, poker?
P: Yeah, but we need more than two people.
W: Probably.
P: We can play, but it's not gonna be fun.
W: Let's not do it then.
P: Yeah, screw that.
W: Swimming?
P: Where?
W: Some water.
P: Which water?
W: The lake.
P: Too cold.
W: Or the river?
P: Too cold.
W: The pool?
P: Your pool?
W: Yeah.
P: I didn't bring any swin trunks.
W: Just go in your boxers.
P: I don't wear boxers.
W: Well...
P: No way, man. Too gay.
W: Yeah, right.
P: Not doing it.
W: Sure. You could borrow one of my swim suits.
P: Ditto.
W: Sure.
P: We could drink.
W: What, like alcohol, drink?
P: Yeah, beer.
W: Nah, not a good idea.
P: No.
W: We gotta finish that wall today.
P: Your old man get pretty pissed, huh?
W: No doubt.
P: Bad enough you still living here and all.
W: So when the colonel says "Go", I go.
P: Makes sense.
W: Pretty sweet deal I got here.
P: No kidding, nice house, your old room back.
W: No rent.
P: You're just living off the parents.
W: I help out a lot.
P: You better, man.
W: So, you think the paint's dry yet?
P: Dunno.
W: I'm gonna check.
(W gets up, sloughs offstage, long pause, comes back on, lays down again)
P: Still wet?
W: Yeah, kinda sticky.
P: Alright.
(long pause, lights start fading very slowly)
W: So, whadya wanna do?
P: I dunno, what do you wanna do?
W: Dunno, man.
P: Cool.
W: Hang out, I guess.
P: Yeah, we tried everything else.
W: Origami.
P: Swimming.
W: Cards.
P: Drinking.
P: Crazy day, man.
W: Insane.
P: Just sorta...
W: Hang out.
P: Yeah.
W: Take a break, ya know?
P: Yeah. A break.
W: Everyone just needs a break.
P: Yep. Just hangin'.
W: That's it.
P: Course it is.
(lights out)
(end)
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