A Play A Day #4

This Play Doubles As A Sort Of Stroop Test , But Quickly Becomes A Heartwarming And Empowering Life Lessson

Cast (in order of appearance) R, B, P, U, K, Q, J, T, M, O, S, A, Y, D, L, F, G, W, X, Z, H, C, E, N, I, V

R: P
B: W
P: F
U: A
K: V
Q: I
J: E
T: X
M: O
O: T
S: K and C
A, E, H and Y: R
Y: G
D: Q
L: U!!
S: See?
F: (unintelligible)
G: Y
W: U, U
X: !
P: T
Z: B
B: I
U: No.
U: O, K
H: B, B, B, C, D, E, J
C: Sea.
E: M
R: T
N: T
A, E, I, O, U: Y
S, T: X, Q, W, K
H: K, K, L, M, N, O, V
U: Wrong!
Z: A
M: (faints dead away)
K: H?
N: M!
I: P
H: A, A, A, B, C, D, N
V: Y, Y
L: M!
H: X, Y, Z, Z, Z, B
P: Stop!
R: Listen, I'm sorry I started this nonsense.
T: What about M?
X: He's gone.
H: K, K, L, N, O, P, D
Y: H...
A: Just stop it.
E: You know you need to work on that stuttering.
B: B!
P: Crap! That's not how it works!
B: Just trying something different... geez...
N: (quietly) N
P: Stop it!
T: T! Hey, that's really fun!
Z: Z! You're right!
W: W! Wow! Alright!
F: F! Haha! Fuck yeah! That's awesome!
I: I!
E: That's right! I's just gotta be I.
I: And E's just gotta be E!
E: E!
O: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Q: Good one!
C: I think we've learned an important lesson here today: You can only be you.
U: Damn straight!
D: Yeah, we have to stop pretending to be letters that we're not.
C: That's it.
J: Hey! I think I know a certain grouping of twenty-six letters that have a story to tell!
L: Let's start writing it up!
R: Alright! I'm in. (They all turn to stare at P)
P: (long pause) I liked that game! (pause) Oh. O.K. I'll be P in the book.
V: Ummm, aren't we forgetting about something? (points at M lying on the ground, downcast mumbling)
T: Hey! It's alright! I know this great linguist; he'll have M going in no time!
W: Let's pick M up and get going!
(They pick up M, carrying him off on their shoulders. They all start to exit, with great murmuring of excitement at their new-found empowerment; one of them shouts: "Hey, can we get this on Oprah?" Even more excited murmuring as exiting continues and lights fade.)