September 2, 2007

Some of the Early Drafts of the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution

1. Congrefs shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the prefs; or the right of the people peaceably to afsemble, and to petition the Government for a redrefs of grievances. (Close, but they spelled those four words incorrectly.)

2. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances; or the right of horny men to put their dicks in things. (At least one of the men had the sense to excise this last clause.)

3. I get to say whatever I want, and you can't do a damn thing about it.

4. Congress shall make no law respecting stuff. (They decided that this may have been too general.)

5. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a red dress. (A good thought, but some of the men wanted blue dresses, and this draft offered no protection for them.)

6. Religion, speech, press, assembly and petitioning are awesome freedoms. You should totally exercise them. Go for it!

7. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances unless the SuperCongress decides otherwise. (SuperCongress was later abolished by SuperSecretUberCongress rendering this last clause unnecessary.)

8. You're not the boss of me.

3 comments:

Circe said...

I do so read your blog. And now, I'm subscribed, so that I will read every little gem that leaps from your keyboard. So there. HA!

Jim H. said...

I like the super-truncated anarchist version: "Congress shall make no laws."

Bleeet said...

Jim,

I actually wrote that one down! Funny.

Then I added the "respecting stuff" later.

Circe, whoever you are, please stop flaming my comments forum. Also, stop molesting small children. Also, stop eating live kittens... after you've molested them.