May 7, 2014
Hummingbird Facts You Never Should Learn
1. All named Duncan.
2. A hummingbird flaps its wings in North Carolina, and a child dies in brutal poverty in Rio. The hummingbird doesn't even care about it.
3. Despite their name, they prefer hip-hop.
4. Do not actively support marriage equality.
5. Due to poor cooking skills, it takes at least eight of them to make a decent omelet.
6. Very shy about buying condoms.
7. Because they are lazy and out of shape, their hearts beat twenty times a second.
8. Have been known to bogart the nectar.
9. Fart way more than is proper.
10. Neither float like a butterfly nor sting like a bee despite pretending to be both.
11. Unwilling to respect some Supreme Court precedents.
12. Shot a man in Reno.