February 22, 2010

Ice Prancing, the Sport of

Ice Prancing is a sport in the Olympic Winter Games. Would you like to be an ice prancer?

Here's a list of what you need:

1) Precision
2) Artistry
3) Expressive features
4) Skates, 2 of them
5) A Bedazzler - for your clothes
6) Culturally stereotyped outfits that stretch credulity and with your movements
7) Ass, 2 of them
8) A Bedazzler - for your face
9) Glitter, all kinds
10) Pre-packaged answers to pointless questions from commentators
11) Make-up pallet knives and a team of professional spackle artists
12) A partner
13) A Bedazzler - for your foes
14) A certain tolerance for public groping
15) A song to prance to
16) A prance to call one's own

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