March 11, 2008

Findings Published in the March Issue of the Society of Irrelevant Correlations

In this March's SIC! Groundbreaking research results released to the public for the first time! Like this:

- Left-handed women are more likely to be mothers, aunts than left-handed men.

- Ice cream vendors are significantly more likely to get speeding tickets than ice creams are.

- Black dogs are extremely more prone to being a dog than black cats are.

- Naked women and men much more likely to be engaged in bathing or sex than statues of naked women or men.

- Flooding frequently linked to water.

- People encased in boxes several feet underground much more likely to be dead than playing cribbage.

- Total horseradish consumption increases for every person added to the horseradish consumption study.

- Sunlight found to be significantly correlated to morning and night.

- Cow go moo.


Anonymous said...

Based on this, your brain and anything that makes any sense!

Brendon Etter said...

Yes, but in what way is my brain and anything that makes any sense irrelevantly correlated? It is vital that we establish the directionality and strength of the irrelevance!


Cindy said...

It's called sociology. We publish many titles every year that get to the bottom of phenomena like this. And they get grant money to do it.

ShOI said...

There's an irrefutable correlation between likelihood and probability.

Jim H. said...

As Smokey Stover once said: "People who live in glass houses should foo in the barn."

Jim H. said...

Apparently, writing a blog post about spurious correlations is highly associated with the end of blog posts.

Unknown said...

Fuck you, man. I'm a left-mother. Geesh.... no respect.

Unknown said...

handed mother. Damn, I'm stupid.